It can take a long time for things to get better, and it can be difficult to hang in there through this journey. But staying connected is one of the most helpful things you can do. When someone is isolated, the abuser has far more power and control over their lives. You do not need to know all the answers or agree with every decision to be helpful. Instead, consistently show up, take on what you can, and ask for help with things that are difficult for you.

Connection also means no ultimatums. We’ve learned that tough love is not what people respond well to.  You might be the only person they are reaching out to. If you give them an ultimatum that they can’t live up to, they won’t have anyone left. Instead, try to leave the door open to make it easy to keep coming back to you.

Even if the person you’re concerned about doesn’t reach out, you can be the one to take the first step by reaching out. This can be a lifeline for your loved one. They may not be calling or reaching out because they cannot, not because they don’t want to or don’t need support.
That said, we know that it’s really hard to stay connected when you’re worried and scared, and unsure how to help someone you care about. But it is not helpful to sacrifice your own well-being in the hopes of helping someone else. If you need help, talk to your trusted supports and reach out to experts when needed. If you need to take a break, take it.